We get self-knowledge the same we acquire any other
knowledge--by applying ourselves to study the subject. We do this by setting
aside time alone to meditate on our own history, goals, and basic nature.
But self-study is considerably harder than studying
mathematics, astronomy, or psychology. It is hard to see ourselves objectively.
We need God’s help, along with the help of of people close to us. But once we
have come to understand who we truly are in God’s eyes, then that
self-awareness can help us overcome anything the world throws at us.
Joseph the Patriarch was betrayed by his brothers, sold into
slavery, and unjustly imprisoned. But after
he was released and promoted to a position of great power, he told his brothers
“you meant it for evil, but God intended
it for good.” (Gen. 50:20) It was his self-awareness of his own place
before God that enabled him to survive and thrive.
Paul was beaten, imprisoned, stoned, shipwrecked, and left
for dead, but in reflecting on his life story said. “I
delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in
difficulties. For when I am weak, then I
am strong.” (2 Cor. 12:20) His confidence in the
face of suffering came from His awareness of himself before God. He interpreted his life story through the
lenses of God’s love, and His confidence before Him.
This kind of confidence only comes by daily struggling to
establish daily practices of self-awareness.
These practices are based upon the developing certain basic virtues of
self-awareness. These include: honesty,
introspection, expression, remembering, and forgetting.
1. Honesty. Before we can know ourselves, we must be
honest about our thoughts, feelings and actions. This honesty means not only recognizing them
to ourselves but acknowledging them to others.
John calls this “walking in the light” in 1 John 1: 5-7:
This is the message we
have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no
darkness at all. If we say we
have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice
the truth. But if we walk in
the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the
blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin
To walk in the light is to live honestly and transparently. We
must reject the old adage “fake it till you make it.” We cannot present one side to the world and
another side to God. We must show our true--not without fear of what others
will do, but trusting God to defend us.
2, Introspection. Self-awareness also requires
self-examination. This means we must have a regular habit of self-appraisal on
an ongoing basis. Only by practicing regular self-examination can the Spirit
make us aware of our personal shortcomings as well as our personal assets, so
we can improve the former while maximizing the latter.
We all put on masks in front of others. The biggest masks we wear, though, are the ones
we wear when we look in the mirror. We
refuse self-examination and so we lack self-awareness. We have reasons for this neglect. We tell ourselves we don’t have time to look
inside, and dismiss introspection as pointless navel-gazing. Sometimes this
might be true, but more often we just don’t want to be bothered by a need for
change. We often whitewash our real motives and conduct and make excuses for
behavior for which we ought to be ashamed.
But if we are ashamed of the past, it is only because we do
not yet have the mind of Christ. God has
forgiven our past sins through Him. We
no longer stand condemned by God. We do not look back in shame, but to learn
how to live in the future.
Confession and recollection
of our sins is like doing an autopsy on a dead animal. It nat be unpleasant but
it can be helpful. Our past sins are dead, they can no longer harm us, but they
can show us what to avoid in the future. We are free. We can honestly assess our past, since we are
no longer bound by it. To hide sin is to give power to it. Nor do we need to pretend to any kind of
perfection, since in acknowledging and confessing sin, we have already
acknowledged our imperfection.
3. Self-expression. Have you ever had the experience of speaking
and suddenly becoming aware that you were saying too much? You find yourself expressing irritation at
something you thought was already over.
Later, you say to yourself “Why did I ever talk like that?”
We do this because speaking
is like turning on a spigot to our inner thoughts and emotions. We may think we know what is us, but we are
often surprised at feelings that rush out.
Learning to express ourselves, both through journaling and
speaking is necessary to really know ourselves.
Counselors call it “the talking cure.” By getting a client to tell their story over
and over, they process it in their mind. Each time we say or write what we have
thought or done, we learn something new. We are not only speaking to others, but
to ourselves.
Sometimes words are not enough. Art is a means of self-expression that
reveals ourselves to ourselves. Any activity kind of creative activity opens up
a window to our own soul.
4. Remembering.
Rabbi Joshua Heschel once wrote “Much of what the Bible demands can
be compressed into one word—remember.”[1] We
need to remember events of ancient times, but we also need to remember where we
came from, where we are going, and what God has done for us along the way. Telling
the story of our faith journey helps us understand who we are, and to become
aware of what God is doing in our lives.
There are two kinds of memory—long term and short-term. One
is the long story of where we were and where we are headed, of answered prayers and moments of joy. These memories sustain us through hard times.
Short term memory is important when we get lost in the big
tragedies of life. They focus our
attention down, like the lens of a microscope, on the daily blessings of today. Remember the little blessings of this morning
or last night helps us give thanks for the daily things when life seems long
and hard.
One of my daily prayers each morning goes like this “Holy
Father, maker of all things, thank your for Your universe.” It reminds me that
God made all things to be enjoyed. When I fail to notice the beauty of my
surroundings, I remember that the One who made all things for a good purpose.
5. Forgetting.
Forgetting is just as important as remembering. We should be aware of all things, but we do
not dwell on all things. I can choose lay
aside those memories that are not profitable to me. Intentional forgetting is not a denial but a
choice to not allow those negative parts of my story to become important to the
overall ending. I choose to forget sins
against me--not because they didn’t occur, but because I simply do not dwell
upon them.
Christian self-awareness comes from examining and
interpreting our lives in the light of Christ. We put aside the elements of our
past that we lead away from Him, while remembering what lead us to Him. In this way, we surrender our story to the
grace and mercy of Christ.
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