The disciplines of
Community
In my section of the country, sports is huge. Sports pennants
fly from antennae flagpole, team logos show up on lawn ornaments. I’ve even
seen coffins with Tiger paws on them!
Fandom is a form of self-definition. It is part of who people say they are. “I’m a Panther’s fan,” or “My team is the
Bulldogs.” They see themselves as
belonging to a community of fans, and feel obliged to publicly declare it by
going to games and flying the flags.
Faith identity is similar.
To grow in faith, we must find means to regularly connect to our
community of faith. Here are a few
regular practices than can help us keep our faith connection.
The first is public worship. Psalm 122 begins “I was glad when they said to me “Let us go
up to the House of the Lord.’” Our joy does not only in worship, but with
being with fellow worshippers. There’s joy
in being with other who share our faith. Their faith builds ours. Heb. 10:24-25 reminds us, “let us consider how to stimulate one another
to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the
habit of some, but encouraging one another.”
Public worship recreates on earth the reality of heaven,
where the saints gather around God’s throne. If our main preoccupation there will
be worship, it should be part of our life on earth.
Public worship isn’t about liking the music or the pastor,
nor is it about the energy level of the room. An crowd can be swept away by
emotion and still be wrong, like a Nazi rally or a lynch mob. Neither should we
assume that a quiet, boring service is without God. Stillness is a true and integral part of
worship. The real focus of worship is God,
not professionalism or excitement. “Worship”
is about declaring God’s worth. Any worship which focuses mainly on ourselves,
our feelings, of our desires doesn’t do Him justice. Any worship that lifts Him
up is pleasing to Him.
A woman once left our church to join an exciting new church down
the road. She gushingly described it to
me “They’re so much more alive there!”
I was a bit perturbed by this, so I asked her. “Have you
ever seen a sponge?”
“Of course,” she
said warily.
“A sponge is an animal, just like a cheetah or a bird. Both the sponge and the cheetah are equally
alive. If God delights in both in both, why can’t He equally delight in
churches that seem different? It’s the Spirit
within, not how we see them that makes us alive in Christ.”
True public worship isn’t about the show, but the condition
of our hearts. We can worship in any
congregation if we remember that we are there to honor God.
The second is congregation participation. Public worship is only one part of what it
means to be in community. For the rest, we are going to need a smaller
group.
Community requires mutual sharing. It cannot be done by staring at a jumbotron
screen in a megachurch, at a priest in a cathedral, or the back of our fellow
worshippers’ heads. We must meet face to
face. For this we need a congregation,
not a crowd. A congregation is where each person contributes something, where
we share affection, concerns, gifts, and problems.
If the only time we meet with other Christians is to listen
to professional musicians and speakers, we miss something fundamental. We need to have be actively involved in other
peoples’ lives--and the more different, the better.
The tragedy of modern church is that they have become
institutional ghettoes where people gather with people who are just like themselves. In ancient times Christians of all kinds met
together—rich and poor, young and old. Young people were taught by the old, who
were a visible example before them. Old
people were helped and encouraged by the young, who energized them with their
excitement for life.
The modern church is divided into groups by age, class,
race, and temperament. We have allowed the church to be run by professionals,
not by ordinary Christians. Most of the time, these groups have little to do and
less to say to each other. Young people
are not encouraged to speak to old, nor will old people give ground to the
needs of the young. The only communities we participate in are the same communities
that would exist with or without Christ—fellowships of socially compatible
people who may as well have interchangeable heads and bodies.
In the original Christian communities, people with diverse
backgrounds and talents shared what they had.
All contributions were welcomed.
All opinions were valued. All people’s
needs were mutually respected. They
bonded together through mutual love of Christ, not social connections.
We don’t have to wait for our congregation to become more
diverse--we can start by simply showing up to events where people gather who
aren’t like us. We can pray for all our congregation,
not just our friends. We can go to nurseries and nursing homes; help in youth
groups and soup kitchens--even more we can simply talk to one another with love
and respect
We can volunteer—but not because we are needed. We volunteer to be with others. Even if we have nothing to contribute (which
is hardly ever the case) we still need to be in community. A community is more
than just a work team—it’s a necessary part of living.
The third is cultivation of soul friendships. Soul friendships are people with whom w
share our souls. Soul friendships are
necessary both for ourselves and to help others in their spiritual
journeys. They are also missing in an overwhelming
number of Christians’ lives.
David Benner
writes:
“The principle reason
friendship is so undervalued is probably that too few people have ever
experience a significant, enduring friendship.
All but the hermit have acquaintances.
But typically such relationships involve no more than a passing
connection. . . The coin of friendship has been continuously devalued by being
applied to those lesser forms of friendship.
“Relationships between acquaintances involve little of the intimacy,
trust commitment, and loyalty of real friendships. Friendships may grow out of these more casual
relationships but are not the same. . .
“Friendship is one of God’s special gifts to humans. Remarkably,
friendship is one of the terms God uses to describe the relationship He desires
with us. Friendship is therefore no ordinary relationship. We cheapen it when we reduce it to mere
acquaintanceship.”[1]
Larry Crabb goes
even further:
“Churches
. . . have become as dangerous to the health of our soul as porn shops. People leave both superficially titillated
and deeply numbed. Religious events can
be as irrelevant to real life as cocktail parties at country clubs . . .
“Most people tuck their soul out of sight and
try desperately to ignore that something is missing they can’t supply. We speak
few words that come out of an honest look at our soul, and few words that are
spoken to us that inspire the courage to take an honest look that give us the
hope and painful authenticity would lead us to real life.”[2]
Finding a soul
friend is easy--we simply listen to them rather than talking about
ourselves. Then we share our stories,
sharing honestly our thoughts, dreams, hopes and desires. In this way, we
develop a soul-to-soul bond that may endure a lifetime.
Finding a friend may
seem hard, but that’s mostly because of the limitations our culture imposes. We think that soul friends are people with
whom we have things in common. Not only
is this untrue, it’s also limiting and degrading. A friend doesn’t have to look
like us, think like us, or share our age, gender or education. What make a
friend is the mutual bond of trust we share.
A fourth is forgiveness and reconciliation Unkind
words, misunderstandings, little suspicion and minor slights collect in a
community like plaque in our arteries unless we periodically purge them through
forgiveness. But when we let go of them ,
we experience the free flowing of love of the community.
Forgiveness is not
pretending there was no injury, but a choice not to seek redress or
revenge. Forgiveness is letting go of
the past so we can go on living in the present.
Reconciliation is a restored relationship. For this to
occur, there has to be a recognition that someone has been hurt. Both the hurter and the hurt should sit down and
discuss it, bringing the pain out into the open. Hopefully, both sides can
agree to forgive past transgressions and time will do the rest. A mutual desire for community will in time
overcome our hurt for past wrongs.
Reconciliation always takes longer and is harder than
forgiveness. Sometimes, reconciliation
isn’t possible to restore the same level of trust. Nevertheless, it should be
attempted, for the sake of the greater community and our own well-being. Having
a friend is better than losing a friend; nothing is accomplished through
continued animosity. Division within Christ’s body are destructive, and deprive
us of the benefits of community. That is why it is always in our best interest
to make peace.
[1][1] David
Benner Sacred Companions: The Gift of
Spiritual Friendship and Direction, IVP
books, Downer’s Grove, Ill., 2002, pp. 61-62.
[2] Larry Crabb Soul Talk, Integrity Publishers,
Nasshville, Tenn., 2003, pp.
16-17
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