“Let those who will not be in community fear being in community.
Let those who will not be in community fear being alone.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together[1]
The story goes that evangelist Dwight L. Moody once stopped
at a country inn f where one of the patrons tried to engage him in a
theological argument. The man said that
he was a Christian, but that he did not believe in going to church. After all, isn’t one’s religion a personal
matter? Why should we have to be in
company with others?
Moody was too tired to argue. Instead, he took a poker to the coal fire in
the fireplace. He pulled out one coal
and set it on the hearth. They watched
as the coals in the fireplace remained hot, and the one on the hearth turned
black and coal. “That, sir,” Moody
stated simply, “Is why we need a church.”
Community living is like a dance between porcupines—we are drawn
together out of loneliness, but we can’t help trading barbs. It would be easier to live in isolation, but
we can’t—we really do need each.
Robert Bellah wrote in Habits
of the Heart,
“We
find our (true) selves not independently of other people and institutions but
through them. We never get to ourselves
on our own. We discover who we are face
to face and side by side with others in work, love and learning. All of our activity goes on in relationships,
groups, associations, and communities ordered by institutional structures and
interpreted by them.” [2]
Kenneth Boa writes:
“Life
in Jesus is not meant to be solitary and individualistic but shared and
collective. . . . the nurture of the
community of faith is designed to prepare us for our everlasting life with the
Lord and with one another.”[3]
Christian community is not a goal to be achieved, but a
present reality created by Divine command, not human effort. We do not “achieve” community—we already are a community. Any effort to “achieve”
it is bound to fail, since we cannot do in the flesh what already been done in
the Spirit. Jesus called the Christian
community ecclesia, or “the called-ones.” When anyone responds to
the call of God to become a participant in His kingdom through surrender to
Christ, that person, no matter how
different they may be from us becomes our brother or sister. We did not choose who we are called to love.
We are called to love all who believe in Him, and so we already exist in
community with them.
This must have been terribly hard for the first generation
of Christians were common fishermen from the same town—business competitors. Matthew
was their tax man. Simon Zealotes was a
member of a terrorist group that murdered tax men. One of their number was a traitor and a
thief. Some were young and some were old. Some were married and others single. Some were wealthy and others poor. Some were
educated and others illiterate. Yet Jesus they became closer than brothers,
willing to die for and with each other.
Individualized faith isn’t just incomplete, it’s mostly
imaginary. We can’t live as Christians
without obeying Jesus’ one new commandment- “love each other.” Isolated Christians are easy targets for
temptations, but joined together we reinforce can have great strength. Whatever knowledge and experience we think we
have, the community has more. Our
combined strength is greater than the sum of its parts.
Living in community keeps our faith real. In it our
feelings, attitudes, and behavior are exposed. If we act in any other way than
what we proclaim, the community will discover it and we are “outed” as
hypocrites. If we are serious about living as a Christ-follower, we will
welcome this exposure as a means of purification. But if we keep our faith
alone and to ourselves, there is no one to expose the places we need
correcting. When we walk with others we
walk in the light and grow strong in our faith.
The virtues of
Community
The first virtue of community is presence. Despite
computers and social networks, we still need whenever possible to come together
face o face. A computer screen of smart
phone is not sufficient when a person is hurting. Facebook messages and
well-meaning texts cannot hold our hands when we are hurting, or hug us when we
are feeling lost. We may be spiritual creatures but we inhabit
animal bodies, and need the touch of
other bodies. There is no substitute
for a sympathetic smile, a warm touch, and a listening ear.
Being in community is messy, but being out of community is worse.
Augustine wrote, “Without the church, there is no salvation.” While that statement may be debatable, it is
undeniable that we need each other to lead us to the full life of Christ.
The second virtue
is empathy. Empathy is the ability to move out of our own thoughts
and feelings and into the thoughts and feelings of others. Of all the attributes, of community, this may
be the most important.
Recently, I met a
small-groups director from one of the largest churches in the country, His job was overseeing one hundred and ten
small group leaders—and there were two more men who had his position with just
a many groups! He never met the groups—only the leaders. He was a small group leader himself of
newlyweds in their twenties. It is no
stretch to say that these groups had tremendous empathy for each other. After all, the people in these group shared
the same age, views, and social strata.
It’s easy to have empathy for people like ourselves.
My current church
is small—fifty or sixty people on a good Sunday—but it is diverse. Old and young, black and white, rich and
poor, new believers and mature believers meet together, sharing the work, the
jokes, and the tears. There is nothing
wrong with either church, but I must ask
the question—if our goal is to grow empathy with people who are different, in
which one are we most likely to happen—in a place where everyone is the same,
or a place where we are forced to listen to people who are different? Empathy
is learning to appreciate our differences and see the hearts of people beneath
the superficial differences.
The third virtue is
Accountability. We grow in community not so much from mutual enjoyment as from
exercising grace through conflict. The sword and the whetstone lie peacefully
together only when rusting in the drawer. It’s in the sharp exchange of ideas
and feelings that true communities are forged.
Paul makes it clear that we should value other members of
our community as better than ourselves.
Each member, offers something to us, something from which we may
benefit. We learn only if we sincerely seek to see their perspectives. This
requires a humility, taking the stance of a learner, not seeking to instruct,
but to be instructed.
It’s not always easy to stay together, but that doesn’t mean
we should forsake the company of brothers and sisters who irritate us. Proverbs says “As iron sharpens iron, so does
one man sharpen another” When iron strikes iron, sparks fly. The only way we get sharp is through tough,
honest interaction. Through argument,
emotional response, forgiveness and reconciliation we chisel each other into
the shape God intends.
The fourth attribute is commitment. Community requires a bond of trust. There must be no deceit or hidden motives.
The higher the level of intimacy required in a relationship, the deeper the
commitment we need.
In Matthew 10: 11-13 Jesus told us “whatever
town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until
you depart.” In other
words, change homes because someone else has a nicer house. Don’t be looking
for greener pastures, stay and learn to love who’s here. This is the principle of stability, or
blooming where we are planted.
Commitment to a local body of believers is essential to community. This
commitment is something we enter not because we deserve but because they don’t.
Commitment is recognizing that community is not for us, but for all of us
together.
Jesus asked Peter in the last chapter of John, “Do you love me?” He asked three times and Peterr told Him
three times “You know I love you.” Each
time Jesus answered the same way “Feed
my sheep.” They way we express love to Christ is to care for those Have cares
about. We have to see our identity as
part a community of faith, and not as solitary individuals. As we feed they
those around us, their faith feeds us,
and we grow in faith together.
How about you? How does your
self-awareness connect with the community of faith around you? How do you keep your connections with God
strong through your community with others?
Would you be interested in building connections with other Christians
online or in person? I’d love to
Hear from you about it .
If you like this blog, share
it, subscribe to it, and comment. Refer
your friends to it, too. Contact me at
the connections given on this page.
[1]
Dietrich Bonheoffer Life
Together (Harper & Row, New York) 1954, p. 77.
[2]
Robert Bellah, Habits of the Heart, quoted in Bobos in Paradise by David Brooks, p. 236.
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